Bitch**SlaPP dot com Forum Index

Bitch**Slapp dot com

Open forum, no flaggers, posts are permanent. Post your rant or rave here. Send a bitchslapp if you want to someone too! It's FREE and fun. Someone upset you? Let the world know here.
[ REGISTER HERE ] It only takes a few seconds. Start earning from your posts now.
Portal
  Forum  •  Portal  •  FAQ  •  Search  •  Usergroups  •  Register  •  Profile  •  Memberlist  •  Log in to check your private messages  •  Log in
View next topic
View previous topic

Post new topicReply to topic View previous topicEmail to a Friend.List users that have viewed this topicSave this Topic as filePrintable versionLog in to check your private messagesView next topic
Author Message
trekkie



Age: 31
Joined: 25 Jul 2007
Posts: 2

usa.gif
PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:26 pm  Post subject:  45 things that have never happened on Star Trek Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

1) The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered before.

2) The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all perfectly all right.

3) The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.

4) The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.

5) The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.

6) An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

7) A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

8 ) A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user of a computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection feature called a 'fuse'.

9) The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

10 ) The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11) The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.

12) The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.

13) The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify with candy.

14) The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th century.

15) Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.

16) A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

17) The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.

18 ) The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny day.

19) An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, "would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the quadrant."

20 ) A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.

21) Picard hears the door chime and doesn't bother to say "Come."

22) Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so"!

23) Picard walks up to a replicator and says, "Coke on ice."

24) Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

25) Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi's position.

26) Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have Kate Pulaski show up and disrupt the wedding by shouting, "Did he read you love poetry?! Did he serve you poisonous tea?! He's MINE!"

27) When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says "On screen."

28 ) Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds to respond to one of the Enterprise's hails.

29) Worf kills Wesley by mistake in the holodeck, (pity this wasn't done in "Deja Vu" then we could have seen it 5 times without rewinding the tape).

30 ) Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

31) Wesley saves the ship, the Federation, and the Universe as we know it, and EVERYONE is grateful (including the Net).

32) The warp engines start acting up a bit, but then seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

33) Wesley Crusher tries to upgrade the warp drive and they work better than ever.

34) Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode without having a hot flush and getting breathless every time Picard is in the room.

35) Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand up comedy routine.

36) Data falls in love with the replicator.

37) Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

38 ) The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

39) An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.

40 ) Spock or Data is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

41) Kirk's hair remaining consistent for more that 1 consecutive episode.

42) Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt. (Or even, Kirk DOESN'T get into a fistfight...)

43) Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn't sacrifice herself for him.

44) Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics

45) Spock isn't the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack by alien race/etc!! due to his "darn green blood" or "bizarre Vulcan physiology" and thus he cannot save the day.

And the things I hate about star trek :

10 Things I hate about Star Trek link

 

 

Gemini  Dog OfflinePersonal Gallery of trekkieView user's profileSend private message
jim
Administrator
Administrator


Age: 68
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 94

usa.gif
PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:01 am  Post subject:  (No subject) Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

46. Spock wasn't a professional nude photographer Smile


Spocks Pics

 

 



Last edited by jim on Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

Virgo Gender:Male Cock OfflinePersonal Gallery of jimView user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
anon
Guest






PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 7:55 pm  Post subject:  you forgot Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

The new guy doesn't get killed.

 

 

  
Guest







PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:07 pm  Post subject:  One more thing Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

No-one ever goes to the toilet. Ever.

 

 

  
stoleittoo
Guest






PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 10:58 pm  Post subject:  Repost of old, old joke Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

Tracked this one back as far as 1991 - http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/trek20.html - and I know 'cos I stole from this same piece myself...

 

 

  
dmk
Guest






PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:23 pm  Post subject:  (No subject) Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

trekkie kill yourself.

 

 

  
hotstuff
VIP Member
VIP Member


Age: 31
Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 23
Location: Portland
usa.gif
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:40 pm  Post subject:  (No subject) Reply with quoteBottom of PageBack to top

Now I don't know what to believe Trekkie, you told me you have a huge ....... oh, nvm.

 

 

Scorpio Gender:Female Dog OfflinePersonal Gallery of hotstuffView user's profileSend private message
If you like Reddit or Digg, give Duggity.com a try. Similiar, but different. Designed around the most complaints heard about Digg and Reddit from the users. Very easy to setup your own page of newsfeeds and submit directly to most social bookmarking sites with one click.
Duggity

Duggity

  

ADD TO DUGGITY      Add to Mixx!     ADD TO DEL.ICIO.US     ADD TO DIGG     ADD TO FURL     ADD TO NEWSVINE     ADD TO NETSCAPE     ADD TO REDDIT     ADD TO STUMBLEUPON     ADD TO SQUIDOO     ADD TO WINDOWS LIVE     ADD TO YAHOO MYWEB     ADD TO ASK     ADD TO GOOGLE
Display posts from previous:      
Post new topicReply to topic View previous topicEmail to a Friend.List users that have viewed this topicSave this Topic as filePrintable versionLog in to check your private messagesView next topic

View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You can vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum


All times are GMT - 8 Hours

44 Attacks blocked
Powered by phpBB2 Plus, Artikelverzeichnis and Webkatalog based on phpBB © 2001/6 phpBB Group :: FI Theme :: Mods and Credits